“Tell me again, mommy. Where did I come from?”
“You came from a country named South Korea. An airplane flew hiiiiigh in the sky and brought you to live with us – daddy, mommy, and your two brothers.”
“And why did I come here?”
“Your birth mom loved you sooooooo much that she wanted to give you an opportunity for a different life than she thought she could provide.”
Being adopted by my family as a four month old was one of the single greatest gifts I have received in my life. I grew up surrounded with support, opportunity, and most importantly, the message that love makes a family.
Understanding both the joys and struggles of my own adoption is one of the reasons that adoption has always been a dream for me and Gretchen. While we may not be able to pass DNA onto our children, we look forward to passing down the tradition of adoption with the message that love is what makes family.
Being adopted hasn’t always been a fairy tale, though. There is privilege in knowing where you come from. There is privilege in being able to look at your parents and grandparents and having a sense of what you might look like in old age. Having never met my birth parents, these are privileges I never had and it’s hard sometimes knowing there’s a piece of my story that took place well before I was born that I’ll never know.
My own adoption story is also one of the reasons we’re so excited about the option of an open adoption. We’re not sure what that might look like for us and for the birth parents. But, we love the idea of our child having more parental figures in their life and having access to the answers to which I have craved – who am I? Where did I come from? And even if we end up adopting with less connection to the birth parents, I feel confident given my own experience that I would be able to help the child navigate this reality.
We are incredibly excited to be on this journey, to continue to pass on the joys of adoption to our own child. We’re thankful to all of you reading this for accompanying us along this journey – for your prayers and well wishes. And if you are a potential birth parent reading this – please know that our greatest desire is to raise a child knowing where they came from and sharing with them that they are so incredibly loved. Love makes a family. We are ready.
<3 Jill (and Gretchen)